I have traveled quite a bit with all three of my kids, both with my husband and alone. I’ve learned some things through trial and error and some through research. My advice boils down to this: plan ahead both mentally and practically, but be flexible on the day of travel.

Mental Preparation 

Travel day is not the day to teach your kids about sharing, limits, or cleanliness. They can skip a day on those lessons and they’ll be perfectly fine. Give them the extra pack of fruit snacks and let them have extra screen time. You’ll only drive yourself crazy imposing your usual rules.  Just know that there will be meltdowns, fights, pee accidents, and more. Focus on moving forward as quickly as possible from these scenarios. Your kids are fighting over a toy and you would usually take it away, put them in time out, or lecture on the virtues of sharing? Just give them both snacks instead. Seriously, just nip it in the bud and move on.

Packing Preparation

Pack a backpack. In my experience, it’s the best carry-on option because it keeps your hands free comfortably. Use one that has several compartments so you can have quick access to whatever you need. Pack a mini-bag with diaper essentials. Pack lots of activities, snacks, and a change of clothes for everyone, including adults. Blow-outs, spilled drinks and puke can cause collateral damage, especially in confined spaces like airplane aisles. It would be wise for parents to have an extra shirt, just in case.

Pick a Boss 

If you’ve traveled by plane, you’ve surely witnessed a couple with kids fighting over which item to put first on the conveyer belt or who gets the window seat. You and your partner need to pick a boss. It’s probably you, the person searching the internet for travel advice. The other person needs to bite their tongue for the day and provide the assistance requested by the boss. I know this sounds extra, but it is so much easier to have someone with a plan and the other person to help execute that plan without asking why or offering alternatives.

Know the Policies

Policies sometimes change. They vary from airline to airline. They’re sometimes followed by the agent and sometimes not. This is why you can’t rely on a friend’s experience or even your own. I look up an airline’s policies every time we travel. Did you know that it’s Southwest’s policy to check the age of every lap child? Did you know American has a 20-pound weight limit for strollers checked at the gate? Even if the last agent didn’t follow through, you never know if today’s agent will. Best practice is to err on the side of caution. Here are the links to American, United, Delta, and Southwest. 

Bring Activites

Save the iPad (don’t forget headphones!) with the downloaded shows until the real meltdowns start. Don’t even mention that you have it. Bring other activities for them to do. Preferably ones that are cheap because some of them will inevitably get lost. I like to tell my kids about some of the activities in advance (“Remember, as soon as we sit down you can play with your sticker set.”) and I like to keep some of them as surprises (“Do you want to keep pulling your sister’s hair or do you want to check out this awesome new toy I have in my bag?’). Here are some good options you can grab at Amazon: 

Melissa and Doug Reusable Stickers: These are awesome because kids really enjoy them and they’re easy to remove. My kids have a blast sticking them on the seats, windows, me, themselves and then I can simply remove them.

Mess-Free Coloring Kits: These are also great because the markers only show up on the pages and it’s got a handy little carrier that my kids use to carry other things. 

Electronic Writing Pad: These are another great choice for a mess-free activity. They’re also relatively cheap so you may want to grab one for each kid. 

Other Things to Pack

1. Thermos/Sippy Cup – You can ask the flight attendant to fill it with water, juice, milk, or the drink of choice and you won’t have to worry about spills.

2, Snacks – Pack more than you think you’ll need. Individually wrapped packs are best.

3. Baby Carrier – If you still have a baby, definitely bring a carrier. I like the Ergo 360 and Baby Bjorn One because you can wear the baby both facing out and in and because they offer back support. Both are available on Amazon.

4. Wipes – Even if you no longer have a kid in diapers, bring them.

5. Packable Bag – Throw one of those reusable grocery bags or something similar in your backpack. This will be to gather up stuff your family will leave behind, to throw in jackets, baby carriers you took off, or anything you may have on hand that you need to carry.

Breastfeeding

All the airline policies I researched state that you are free to nurse and pump at your seat. You can’t nurse in the aisle for safety reasons. You’re also able to take an extra bag with nursing/feeding essentials like milk, frozen milk, formula, pumps, bottles, etc. which doesn’t count against the carry-on quota. You can bring breastmilk (even frozen) through TSA in “reasonable quantities.” They don’t define what reasonable is but use your best judgment. It should fit in a carry-on bag.

International Travel with Kids

1. Keep all your passports together in something like this document holder. You can also keep everyone’s boarding passes, a pen for filling out custom documents, and any other documentation you need in here.

2. Most airlines reserve the right to ask for a notarized letter giving you permission to take your children out of the country if you are traveling without the other parent. I have never been asked for this letter, but this is another case of “better safe than sorry.” Keep one in the passport holder. You can create one here at LawDepot.com.

Random Tips

1. Everyone should wear easy on/off shoes to make things easier when you go through security.

2. Use family boarding wisely. I have my husband go in with the baby when they call for families. He drops off our stroller and claims any overhead space we may need. I wait until the very end to go in with my two older kids. We basically walk straight to our seats. This way, they are confined for less time and we don’t have to wait in line to board.

A Great Resource for Traveling With Kids

The Car Seat Lady is a great resource for car seat safety generally and also for taking car seats on airplanes and on trips. Car seat installation in other cars is tricky, especially when traveling internationally. Check out her website for some great information.

If you have any tips I left out please feel free to leave it in the comments! Stay safe and sane on your trip and remember that it’s (probably) worth it for the destination.

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